Thursday, June 4, 2009

Biological clock?

I think T may have an internal calendar that is telling him he separated from his foster family, was placed with total strangers, and lost the whole world he knew about one year ago.  I've read that this happens but was honestly a little skeptical.  He's 2.  Thailand has different seasons.  He doesn't even understand tomorrow or next week.  And yet, the last week has been a big ugly slide backwards for us.

I've noticed he has regressed to using a lot of baby talk.  He's extra clingy, like he was maybe 9 months ago.  He's on a hair trigger for tantrums.  His tantrums are nonsensical:
T:  Rock! (pointing at T-sized rocking chair)
Me:  OK, you can sit on your rocking chair.
T:  NO ROCK!!  NO!!!
Me:  That's fine.  You don't have to rock.  Let's go read a book.
T:  ROCK!!  WANT ROCK!!!!  (sobbing)
Me:  OK, it's right here.  Let me help you sit on it.
T:  NO.  NO WANT ROCK!!!  (throwing himself to the floor)
(on and on all day, over just ever subject you can imagine)
Nothing soothes him.  He pushes me away when I try to hold him, which he hasn't done in a long time.  His eating is finickier.  He's sleeping more.  He doesn't seem to be in any pain or getting teeth.  All of his behaviors really make me think it's very attachment related.  He's mostly charming when we have visitors.

So I'm sticking to my theory that his heart can feel it's been almost a year since the changes no little one should have to face.



rosemary said...

That must be so hard for T and for you and Kyle! My heart is breaking for you guys. I have read about these "bodyclock" memories too and I've never known what to make of them but this is certainly convincing. I'm so sorry to hear of T's pain. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Jessica said...

Poor T (and poor you!). Hope it gets better. Thanks for preparing the rest of us.

Melissa May said...

It amazes me how our brains/hearts work. I imagine there will be a bit of the "remembering" happening for all of us... (everyone in our family). Another bittersweet part of the journey for me to trust God about... Hope T and you guys get through this quickly. 2 is hard enough without grief memories on top of it!